How to set better (more mindful) goals
If you're like most people, you probably set goals at the beginning of every year. You sit down, think about what you want to achieve, and come up with a game plan for making it happen. But there's a problem with this traditional approach to goal-setting: it rarely works. In fact, research has shown that less than 8% of people who set New Year's resolutions actually achieve them.
So what's the alternative? A new approach to goal-setting that is based on being mindful of the process rather than focusing on the outcome. That’s because no goal is achieved all of a sudden, all at once. Whatever your goal is, it will take conscious steps and actions to get you from where you are now to where you want to go. That’s why being mindful of the process and celebrating smaller victories along the way is so important.
When you set a goal in a traditional fashion, it will lead to a binary outcome - you're either happy you were able to achieve your goal, or you're disappointed for not reaching the desired outcome. In contrast, the mindful approach focuses you on making small progress consistently and enjoying the process.
When you're able to set goals that are focused on being aware of the process rather than focusing on the outcome, you can enjoy the smaller wins along the way which in turn will help keep you motivated.
Here's how the mindful approach to goal-setting works:
1. Get clear on what you want
2. Find your why
3. Accept where you are right now
4. Make a plan of action
5. Take small steps every day
6. Let go of perfectionism
7. Celebrate your successes along the way
Mindful Approach to Goal-Setting Steps:
1. Get clear on what you want:
The first step is to get clear on what you want to achieve. This might seem like a no-brainer, but it's actually quite difficult for many people because they haven't taken the time to really think about it. To get clear on what you want, ask yourself some questions like:
- What would achieving this goal mean for me?
- How would my life be different?
- What am I willing to do to make it happen?
2. Find your "Why"
This involves taking some time to reflect on your values and what you want to achieve. Once you know your why, you can set goals that are aligned with your values and start taking steps toward achieving them. But how do you find your why? It starts with asking yourself some tough questions. For example:
1. What are you passionate about?
2. What makes you feel alive?
3. What do you want to be remembered for?
4. What do you want to avoid in life?
5. Who are your role models and what are they driven by?
When you take the time to reflect on these things, you'll start to get a clearer sense of what's important to you and get clarity on what's motivating you in life. Discovering your "why" is like discovering fire that will help you illuminate the course in every aspect of your life!
3. Accept where you are right now:
The second step is to accept where you are right now—stringing popcorn along the living room floor while watching TV with your cat doesn't count as "acceptance." This step is about acknowledging your current reality without judgment or attachment. It's important not to get too caught up in shoulda/coulda/wouldas because that just keeps you stuck in the past or future and stops you from enjoying the present moment.
4. Focus on the process:
Once you've gotten clear on what your goal is and accepted where you are right now, it's time to make a plan of action for achieving your goal. This doesn't have to be anything fancy; a simple list will do just fine (e.g., Monday: call three friends; Tuesday: buy a new pair of walking shoes; Wednesday: walk around the block). Just remember to keep your steps small and achievable so that you don't get overwhelmed or discouraged along the way. The key is to focus on consistency rather than perfectionism—it's more important that you take those small steps every day than that everything be perfect all at once."
5. Take small steps every day & focus on consistency:
The fourth step is probably the most important one: take small steps every day towards your goal. These steps should be something that you can realistically accomplish given your current circumstances (e.g., if you're working full-time and taking care of kids, then taking an hour-long hike every day probably isn't realistic). Just remember that progress, not perfection, is key here! Furthermore, it's important not to beat yourself up if you miss a day or two (or even a week)–just pick up where you left off and keep going."
6. Let go of perfectionism:
One of the biggest reasons why people don't achieve their goals is because they're perfectionists who expect everything to be perfect all at once—this is an impossible standard to live up to! If this sounds like you, then it's time to let go of perfectionism and give yourself some grace."
7. Celebrate your successes along the way:
Finally, don't forget to celebrate your successes along the way! Whether it's something big (like reaching your weight loss goal) or small (like staying consistent with your daily walking routine), pat yourself on the back and enjoy feeling good about what you've accomplished."
Examples of good goals
For example, instead of saying “I’m going to lose 40 pounds”, your new goal could be “I’m going to start walking at least 30 minutes a day, limit my junk food consumption to twice a month and cycle to work every other day”. It’s a better goal because you can’t control how much weight you lose (and how fast you lose it), but you can control activities you’re doing (or not doing).
Or instead of saying “I’m going to make a million dollars”, your new goal could be “I’m going to figure out what skills are really in demand and I’m going to take online classes to learn them. I’ll then be able to offer my services as a freelancer” It’s a better goal because it gives you a much more clear path forward and you have full control over the inputs.
Instead of setting your goal as “I’m going to buy a house” you can set the new goal as “I’m going to start tracking my expenses to save $300 per month for a downpayment for a house”.
The takeaway
The traditional approach to goal-setting rarely works because it focuses all your attention on the end result, which in turn creates a binary outcome - you're either happy you were able to achieve your goal, or you're disappointed for not reaching the desired outcome.
A better alternative is a mindful approach that can help increase your chances of success by setting your focus on the smaller steps and progress you're making along the way. This means that while your end goal serves as a north star and gives you the right direction, you're much more focused on the actual smaller step to get there.
Taking some time each day to focus on the small steps that take you closer to your goal and enjoying yourself along the way can help you stay motivated and stay on track. With mindful goal-setting, anything is possible! Good luck on your journey!
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